the first one I can think of that may be the BIGGEST one that bothers me to my core is: SKINNY JEANS.
I have NEVER ....NEVER...EVVVVVER seen a pair of skinny jeans compliment a girl's frame. NOt even the 'Oh...I'm a model...you know, the standard of beauty' type chicks look good in skinny jeans. SORRY....NOT COOL. As a man who tries NOT to check out chicks that are not my wife, skinny girl jeans STILL trip my peripheral in the way of "oooo...that looks BAD".
disclaimer: You don't have to like or agree with this..it's true. Can ANYONE come up with a reason to choose skinny jeans over regular fit/cut jeans? I'm listening?
Are they more comfortab..... LOL..I couldn't even get through that...it's laughable and obviously not even a good question!!!!
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| This is an actual ad for these abominations. Look at the stomach/hip to leg ratio. Ugh...it's like a spider wore clothing. SPIDERS DON'T WEAR CLOTHES SILLY!! |
which segue ways very simply into my next point: DUDES WEARING SKINNY JEANS. Ok...i'll try to be nice here cause I have some dear friends who have joined the 'dark side'. I love you all, but it just ain't right!! Here's the thing...and it's confession time. When I married my supergirl, she sat me down and said something I'll never forget;
She looked me deep in the eye with the most serious face one Saturday. I prepared for the worst and she let me have it. She looked down for what seemed like ages, met my eyes and then said: You REALLY have to get rid of those jeans. They are wayyy to tight in regions that no one wants to perceive. They were boot-cut Arizona's from JCPEnny in their sale isle when I was like 19. At 26 I SHOULD have realized this but I thought that was what every COWBOY wore!!! I tried to argue but she was so serious and intent, that I conceded for the sake of love and marriage.
Having said that.....skinny jeans on dudes just aren't ok. NOT only do they squish stuff that shouldn't be squished but they actually MAKE...THEY CREATE plumber's crack!!! *shudder. As close as a bro may be to you...it's not Brosher (get it...kosher?) to see you're bro's B-crack. Nope..not ever.
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| I just..I don't....Do you think that....UGH...2 things: 1.look what it does to your rear. 2. Some have used the words 'mangina' when it comes to this style. I dunno what it means, but it sounds pretty derogatory! |
sigh...where do I go from here? That one is HUGE. ummmm....well, I guess I would say OH I KNOW>>>>Baggy, saggy, THUG PANTS!
ok...the rumor is that this style derived from PRISON. The inmates were given ONE SIZE pants or jumpsuits in prison....they didn't care, you got a xl or an L when u were imprisoned. So....thin dudes walked around with baggy, saggy, thug pants. Then, when these Einsteins got released, they were all like....hmm....how can I show that I'm tough and just got out of disneyland/lockup? Oh...sagg-pants!
I just don't get it. I'm careful to not do too much to make people think that whatever I represent is negative...whether it's my state/race/county/beliefs etc....honestly! I just don't get this. It's become a staple on the show COPS. The officers seem to always comment on how this is funny and stupid to them cause these fools trip when running from the police!
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| Hey baby! I heard you like dudes that appear to have toddler legs and salamander torsos! I got that! 2. Wait, women don't find sweaty and nasty underpants sexy!? Hold the PHONE! |
runner's up....hippie's and their baja hoodies. The material looks like potato bags! Look, we knew u were a hippy, u didn't need to wear that...we smelled the pachoolie when we walked in!
ok...That's it...I can't keep going...I feel yucky and must go shower after this. Bad people!!!! Bad..Bad people for wearing this stuff!!!! You're BAD!!!
I agree with you except for the women's skinny jeans...I own a pair and love them :)
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