Day 17 - Top Five Favorite Things To Do Where You Live

In no order.

5.  FISHING!! YEP....You've seen the pictures already in previous posts.  I love to go out to secluded lakes with my close friends and fish for HOURS on end.  Typically its an 8 hour trip, and it always seems to end too soon.   When I lived in Colorado, I was really missing open waters.  Then I realized that even if your city has water around it, there will be no fishing without a ton of people around.  What fun is that?!
        Where I live, IF I see someone else..IF....we make a point to talk with them and be friendly.  HEck, I've even coached folks about best spots to fish!

this is my fav spot in the whole world..my fishing spot

yeah, it bends around on the right and opens up to a large body of water with an awesome island in the middle.

4.  Shooting my guns.  Yep.  I dont hunt *cause I'm a card-carrying bunny-hugger*  but I love marksmanship.   Don't tell my mom but Ive walked the couple hundred yards into her back woods and held target practice.   Yep....no gun range needed, and certainly no 'pay by the half hour' sort of situations.  Just some empty cans and a tree to hang em on!   Yep...MANTASTIC!


3.  being able to estimate travel times by MILEAGe and not traffic.  Yep....If I get stuck at a light twice, I am like WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?  Yeah, it doesn't happen.  If I see more than 5 cars stopped at a light, it's like CMON, is this a parade!?! LOL...but it's true.    The stress of traffic is KILLER and I know people on blood pressure meds in their twenties...it's not for me

2.  Small town christmas lights and shopping.   Yep..makes me feel like I was in the 50's or something.  I feel like that was a good time for America.  THe way my town decorates the trees and hangs ornaments from the telephone polls is awesome.

1.  Umm..I dunno...walk my dog around my small town.....have a fire in my backyard, hang at my recording studio in the middle of nowhere...Grow a beard, trim it into funny looks, dress up my dog, take my dog swimming at my aunt's private beach...Lots of stuff!!! 

did I mention hanging out at a secluded place where there's a series of awesome waterfalls spilling into warm pools?  Yeah..that's cool too

Sam loves to come to the falls with us!!  

Oh and there are mountains nearby that we climb..NBD

when I was young all I wanted to do was leave this 'lame' place.  After living in York PA, Providence RI, Colorado Springs, CO and all around London....I have come to truly appreciate this little 'armpit' of america.  TO me...it' s a secluded paradise (of sorts)

This is the 'dress up the dog' portion of our show

Day 15: top 5 favorite beverages

Pretty lame one today, so I'll play it straight.

in no specific order

1.  Mountain Dew (yeah, I called it the Devil's Pee Pee in a previous post)   I love it....I only drink like half a can a day now cause of the sugar and other scary ingredients like rat poison that it contains

2.  GOOD OLD AMERICAN LIGHT BEER!  Yep....Living in England was rough...NO COORS LIGHT!  Or...KEYSTONE LIGHT...or busch light!     Yep.  I like it...I don't like dark beers much, but I LOVE me some light beer.  There's nothing like being out on the lake, fishing with my buddies and cracking an ICE cold light beer.  Judge me all you want when I'm sitting in my folding chair in the back of my aluminum boat wearing my camo shorts with my gun on my hip drinking a light beer.   "YOu might be a redneck if....well, if you do ANY of those things I mentioned let alone ALL"   (ps..my brother makes a good light beer.....I enjoyed that Nick.  Even cooler that you made it)

Folding chair 'cause the bench is gone...check.   Gun tucked into camo shorts?  Check.  ice cold keystone light on tacklebox that COMES with cup holder?  Check.  Bass worthy of other men's envy?  YOU KNOW IT!!

3.   Pickle juice.  I drink it straight from the JAR.  I dont care....I will look you in the eye while I drink it and feel JUST FINE about myself.  BOSS!

4.The most deadly drink I can think of courtesy of Mr. Mike Forget is rumshata and milk.  Its like a bailey's or whatnot, and it is DEADLY mixed with milk.  Why?  cause it's sooooo good.   There's a good chance that if you drink this, it will feel like when you think you're doing 45 and you look at speedometer and notice you're doing 74.   Yep.   Be careful with this one...you may end up in drunktown when you only planned to drive to Sippsville.

5.   Merry's and Baileys.   Merry's is just as good IMO but a fraction of the price.  I love it as a winter drink when I'm hanging with My Cousin Leegull. 

that's all folks.    Oh..and I drink the CRAP outta water!  I litterally drink between 4 and 5 1000ml Nalgene's each day.   I started because it's good for me, but now I crave that much water and love to drink it.

Day 14 - Top Five Things You'd Do If You Had Magical Abilities

wow...this is so huge for me.  I dunno where to start

By magic can we include symbiotic abilities that have been cultivates by the introduction of a innate foreign substance/sentient being?
(no this is not an episode of the big bang theory, I'm seriously wondering)
  You see...superman's abilities were simply an effect of his genetic structure reacting to our specific yellow sun.   Spider man was the product of a genetic anomaly that occurred when he mutated (loose definition) when he was bit by a radioactive spider
   
I could go on....and on and on and on and on and on...please believe me.  SO....I'm gonna approach this as thought he spectrum were WIDE OPEN
  1.  superman's powers.  Yep.  invulnerable (almost).  Super and I mean super speed.  telescopic vision, heat vison, super breathe (oh wait..I have that...this guy knows)  Freeze breathe.....
  ummmmmFLIGHT>.....FLIGHT.  the man(loose definition) can fly.   ANd fast...forget it...that's the business!!
     ok.  Here's the thing.  I lucid dream of these powers, but I realize that  want them for 2 reasons and I'm being honest:  1.  I like knowing that I cannot be hurt and that things are easy.  I dont like obstacles and overcoming them...I want my life to be easy.  2.  It exposes fear in my life.  I don't wanna be hurt.  I don't like the feeling of being vulnerable.    Both of these are weakness on my part.  Honestly!
                  Being human means facing vulnerability and overcoming obstacles.  If I am going to become the man I wanna be....I HAVE TO BE VULNERABLE LE, GET HURT.....AND OVERCOME OBSTACLES!!!  But I realllllly don't like that and....I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnna! (whiniest voice possible)

2. The flash.  (super...I mean SUPER speed).  Ok..I"m only gonna say one thing.  Speed is a measure of TIME.  If I could run to syracuse in 2 minutes instead of 2 hours, but it still FELT like 2 hours to me.....then what's the use!?  SPeed is awesome at first till you realize that it is really only the perception of time SLOWING down for ME...just me.  

3.  Green lantern.  Dude thinks it....ring creates it.... awesome.  (until you're AJ in the morning, who's thoughts travel like a 2-toed sloth riding a geriatric snail)

OH WAIT..THIS IS THINGS YOU COULD DOOOOOOOOOOOO IF YOU HAD MAGIC.

4. Um....I'd make the 2 party fallacy disappear and bring actual freedom to this nation.  I would magically turn every politician into what they pretend to be.  WHATUP?

5.  I'd bring back 'my name is earl"  it was GOOD SHOW THAT DESERVED TO FINISH OUT IN IT'S TIME!!! WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT WE DISCOVER THAT EARL IS EARL JRS FATHER!!! CMON.....criminal...Just criminal!

Day Thirteen: Top five dream jobs

Woah...I'm behind...I'm supposed to be doing this every day, but it really creeps up ya!

5.  Guy that swims around and with dolphins and entertains people....that sounds awesome doesn't it? 

4.  Prince of England.  Royalty?  Sounds so dope.   And for whatever reason, people don't seem to feel oppressed, they LOVE the royal family!  I don't get it, but it would be sweet to have an entire country's wealth at your disposal....mwah ha ha!!!  Just think of the shenanigans I could get into in a PALACE with like swords and armor and such....awesome!!!!

3.  Zoo keeper.  I LOVE animals.  I don't think i would like the cleanup or the treating them medically, but more of a 'guy who plays around with monkeys and whatnot" would be a good title.  Yep...Monkey entertainer.  That's the one!

2.  I would say musician, but honestly...it's really hollow IMO.  I found it hollow.  I found it less gratifying than I thought it would be.  I felt like a dancing puppet who was seeking other's approval through my talent.  I know that's not everyone's story, but it's definitely mine. 

1.   Yep... Pastor.   It's honestly my dream job.  I wouldn't mind actually earning a salary doing it...but honestly, just meeting people's needs and helping them make the choice to a much more fulfilling life and life hereafter is just Awesome!  I love teaching on Sundays and I love the one on one time I have with people, just doing life together.  I really don't there's a job I could ever like more than this one.  I've been dreaming about it since I was 20 or so.   I don't mind if there's 4 people there or 400, I just reallllllly reallllly love what I do!

short and to the point.... (I'm short on time today)

Day 12 - Top Five Trends/Styles You Abhor

wheeeeew...Ok...this is one that I really get wierd about.  My BP rises over some of this stuff.

the first one I can think of that may be the BIGGEST one that bothers me to my core is: SKINNY JEANS.
I have NEVER ....NEVER...EVVVVVER seen a pair of skinny jeans compliment a girl's frame.  NOt even the 'Oh...I'm a model...you know, the standard of beauty' type chicks look good in skinny jeans.  SORRY....NOT COOL.    As a man who tries NOT to check out chicks that are not my wife, skinny girl jeans STILL trip my peripheral in the way of "oooo...that looks BAD".
   disclaimer:  You don't have to like or agree with this..it's true.   Can ANYONE come up with a reason to choose skinny jeans over regular fit/cut jeans?  I'm listening?
         Are they more comfortab..... LOL..I couldn't even get through that...it's laughable and obviously not even a good question!!!! 

This is an actual ad for these abominations.  Look at the stomach/hip to leg ratio.  Ugh...it's like a spider wore clothing.  SPIDERS DON'T WEAR CLOTHES SILLY!!

which segue ways very simply into my next point:  DUDES WEARING SKINNY JEANS.  Ok...i'll try to be nice here cause I have some dear friends who have joined the 'dark side'.  I love you all, but it just ain't right!!   Here's the thing...and it's confession time.  When I married my supergirl, she sat me down and said something I'll never forget;
    She looked me deep in the eye with the most serious face one Saturday.  I prepared for the worst and she let me have it.  She looked down for what seemed like ages, met my eyes and then said: You REALLY have to get rid of those jeans.  They are wayyy to tight in regions that no one wants to perceive.  They were boot-cut Arizona's from JCPEnny in their sale isle when I was like 19.  At 26 I SHOULD have realized this but I thought that was what every COWBOY wore!!!  I tried to argue but she was so serious and intent, that I conceded for the sake of love and marriage.
  Having said that.....skinny jeans on dudes just aren't ok.  NOT only do they squish stuff that shouldn't be squished but they actually MAKE...THEY CREATE plumber's crack!!! *shudder.  As close as a bro may be to you...it's not Brosher (get it...kosher?) to see you're bro's B-crack.  Nope..not ever.

I just..I don't....Do you think that....UGH...2 things: 1.look what it does to your rear. 2. Some have used the words 'mangina' when it comes to this style.  I dunno what it means, but it sounds pretty derogatory!

sigh...where do I go from here?  That one is HUGE.  ummmm....well, I guess I would say OH I KNOW>>>>Baggy, saggy, THUG PANTS!
  ok...the rumor is that this style derived from PRISON.  The inmates were given ONE SIZE pants or jumpsuits in prison....they didn't care, you got a xl or an L when u were imprisoned.  So....thin dudes walked around with baggy, saggy, thug pants.  Then, when these Einsteins got released, they were all like....hmm....how can I show that I'm tough and just got out of disneyland/lockup?  Oh...sagg-pants!
    I just don't get it.  I'm careful to not do too much to make people think that whatever I represent is negative...whether it's my state/race/county/beliefs etc....honestly!  I just don't get this.  It's become a staple on the show COPS.   The officers seem to always comment on how this is funny and stupid to them cause these fools trip when running from the police!

Hey baby! I heard you like dudes that appear to have toddler legs and salamander torsos!  I got that!
2.  Wait, women don't find sweaty and nasty underpants sexy!? Hold the PHONE!

Ok, I'm loosing steam here...it's draining me to think of this stuff.
   runner's up....hippie's and their baja hoodies.  The material looks like potato bags!  Look, we knew u were a hippy, u didn't need to wear that...we smelled the pachoolie when we walked in!

ok...That's it...I can't keep going...I feel yucky and must go shower after this.  Bad people!!!! Bad..Bad people for wearing this stuff!!!! You're BAD!!!

Day Seven: Top 5 Historical Figures

Yeah....umm...kinda boring but let's roll.. (ps I took yesterday off cuase my PIB was behind a day)(Partner in Blogging)

5.Doc Holliday as portrayed by Val Kilmer in Tombstone.   This is now your time to run through what you like about this. "huckleberry"    "you're no daisy!!"  etc....it would drop my cool meter if I sat here and quoted all the awesomeness when you all probably know them

Like.....umm....What if air is actually poisonous and it like....takes 80 years to kill us?

4.  Bruce Lee.   I've studied him since I was about 10 years old.  The way he took the traditional forms of martial arts and adapted them for functionality....sounds like the newest wave of faith in Jesus.  Stripping off the FORMS and getting to the Daily application and substance.    I actually believed he pushed and peaked his body beyond it's limits and that's why he died....that's just my opinion.

3.  Optimus Prime.  Yep....a clearly static character that embodies all that is good and noble and oh, I dunno...PETER CULLEN as his voice!?!??!?!  C'mon....This REEKS of Epic

2.  Superman.  Herrrre's the thing.   THere is NO way a human could have such POWER and not end up just squishing us at his whim.  Here's what I mean:
    I was playing Prototype.  In the game you get powers as you run around NYC.  THere are tons of random people just walking around and living life.  I'm flying and throwing cars etc on my way to the GREATER GOOD of killing the Protagonist (who presents a great threat to everyone).  But you know what...after about 3 days of playing, I stopped caring if I hit a few humans when I was chucking cars at demons and whatnot.  I stopped caring if they weren't dodging quickly enough out of the way when I was driving fast.  They became more like ANTS to me than humans.  I didn't have TIME to watch every super powered step I took.  They got hurt...and I didn't care. Now imagine living among us humans (the selfish, the corrupted, the PROUD).  You feel what I'm saying?  So the character is awesome because he keeps nobility and empathy even when it's impossible to do so.

 Half Dog, half Centaur, half superman.  Centmandog

there's A LOT going on here....I'm just...I dunno...I wanna move on

HE HE HEEEEE....that is all.. hilarious

1.  Historical?  Jesus....DUH?   He left the throne of God and CHOSE to become one of us (the ants).  He dealt with hunger, thirst, fatigue, Body odor, bad breathe, hurting feet etc.....a far cry from GODHOOD.  ANd WHY?  WHY?   So we, (the ants) could connect back to God and have a way for eternal life and our best lives here.   I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT!  Right?  If you're honest?

 see ya tomorrow!
    

Day six: Top things that Happened to me this past year

I guess I'll do 2011up till now for this:

hmmmmm....well...  the biggest thing is the starting of Stonegate Community Church.  We opened late in the year, as the fall came.  It's been the most rewarding and hardest thing I've ever done.
   I had ALOT of doubts about ME going into this.  Really....if you know me, you probably think what I think...THIS GUY a pastor?  Get outta here!  I'm with you....completely! I struggle with alot of bad behaviors and selfishness and well...I could go on and on about it,...but one fact remained.  I truly felt that God was realllllllllllllllllly telling me to do that....and so did the people I trust the most.  So ...boom...Pastor Butthead!

I found a SWEET transformers collectable at the FISHING HOLE!  Wanna see it?

It was in a fire pit...I courageously rescued it!!

But wait....it freaking opens!!! WOOOOAH

OPTIMUS PRIME!!!!!  Best day ever (what a sad life I live...)

ummm....We caught a TON of fish this summer:  Great largemouth

went 43 and 10  in Black ops...thought this was a big deal at the time, but then I got really good and scored similar rounds pretty consistantly...but hey, if you can't brag on your blog then what's the point!

Hung out with Sam while wife worked.

Had some deer eating our bushes like 8 feet from me

Grew a viking beard!

Tried my hand at a cop stache...wife threatened divorce

Failed at business...that was fun

Caught some MORE epic bass!..oh and recieved my favorite pair of shorts ever...CAMO (wife threatens divorce)

I seriously Have NO fish shots with my shirt ON>>?  CMON

Saw my Grandmother for what may very well be the last time...love her

Made fun of John mayer....constantly

HANDLEBARS BABY~!!!!

Grew a Charlie Daniels mustache

Preached my first Easter sermon..had my shirt on for that!

MAybe i'll be the Matthew Maconahay of pastors. "I think this message would be better if I took my shirt off man.." (that's Matt Damon doing a Matthew impression...look it up)

Grew an 'Uncle Brian"....wife threatened divorce

random cool things:
   after catching the final largemouth of the night...right at sundown....we were near the road out in my boat....I caught it as a pickup truck was drviving by.  Like a child I held it up in the air for the passing truck.  The old guy stuck his hand out and gave me a thumbs up~!~!~~   that was awesome....it happened very fast.

     So I dunno.  I've lost track of my thoughts, I'm watching Tv as I do this....lottery winners.  Crazy stuff.  So anyway....That's it for now....